We do the best that we can and sometimes love just isn't enough.

I can't say that I didn't see it coming...or that there were times that I thought that this would be easier.

Maybe it is easier. Who knows.

All I know is that I love the boy and I respect him if this is what he thinks is the best for him.

Mom keeps saying that time heals everything...but time was never an issue with us until there wasn't any to spend together any time soon. It didn't take any time for me to fall in love with him.

I knew that I was taking the easy way out by coming here...only it's not easy. It's possibly the hardest thing I've ever done.

I've been miserable since I left Israel and now I don't know where to call home.

So what if my heart is broken and it hurts to breathe. I still say that I'm one of the lucky ones.

What we had was real.

Tomorrow is a new day and so is the day after that.

~

My tentative plans are to finish up the Fall semester at UF and the spring semester at Haifa. Then, at some point when my grades are transfered from Haifa to UF, I will be a college graduate (with honors!)

For years I have looked into joining the Peace Core after graduation but that doesn't make sense to me anymore considering the lack of patriotism I feel for America and the abundance of patriotism I feel for Israel. At this point, I'm planning on joining the Israeli army for 2 years post-graduation.

I think that it would be a life changing experience. I'd have to really get to know myself and I would be in a somewhat safe environment while doing so. Most likely it would be some kind of clerical/secretarial work...but maybe I could join the Israeli Army band and perform for the soldiers. I'll become fluent in Hebrew and then I can decide from there where I'd like to go.

Nothing is permeant or set in stone. We'll see what happens.