Playgrounds

After writing the last post I decided that I needed some fresh air. I grabbed a book and walked out of the apartment (dira) without saying a word.

Itzik: "Wait. Where are you going?"

I closed the door behind me. I wanted to chill out.

I didn't know where I was walking too. I figured that I would find a bench to sit on or something. I started walking to the market thinking that I might end up needed some chocolate.

"Stephanieee! Stephhanieee!"

I stop walking and looked around to see who was calling my name. I didn't see anyone at first. Then I saw Itzik's two littlest sisters riding their bikes towards me. I crossed the street to say hi to them. Itzik's mother (Sara) and younger brother was with them too.

Sara: "Where are you going?"
Me: "Just a walk."
Sara: "Okay. Take them to the playground? I need to drop this at the house."
Me: "No problem"

I grabbed Noam's stoller and walked to the playground with them. I laughed...thinking about the fact that I had been feeling so far away and disconnected. I had felt alone and then I had decided that I wanted to be alone and Itzik's family found me. It was all too perfect, just like everything else with Itzik was usually.

...

4 hours later Itzik and I went to visit his zafta. Before walking into her house, Itzik told me that he was sorry.

Me: "Don't say that until you know what you did. You told me that we were going to be just me and you the whole day and this is the first time that we've been alone."

I started crying, telling him that I loved him and that all I really wanted was his attention. I wanted to talk to him and spend time with my boyfriend.

He kissed my tears and told me that he loved me and I was right and he's sorry.

...

Itzik was supposed to come back from the army around 1:30 and he had work at 3.

Around 2:30 I figured that he has just gone straight to work.

Around 3:25 he came home with a box of chocolates and told me that he canceled work.